Monday, October 25, 2010

Dining Out Italian Style

It's my fault. I agreed to a family dinner at one of my favorite Italian restaurants. What am I? A glutton for punishment? Maybe I just have an over-inflated sense of my coping skills. I am living far too dangerously.


As soon as the server brings the basket of fresh-from-the-oven-Italian bread with the mini pads of butter, I know I'm in in trouble. The bread is so warm you can watch the steam rise from the basket. The sweet aroma that wafts over the table leaves me salivating. I'm guessing that it has same effect on my family, because faster than you can say Tony Bennett, the basket is empty. If I didn't have almost four weeks of 'avoiding' behind me, I might have wrestled my poor mother to the floor for a piece of that bread.


When you can't eat wheat, dairy or tomatoes, reading a menu in an Italian restaurant is like navigating through a culinary mine field. 


I can't even muster the courage to look at the pizza section of the menu, but my daughter is kind enough read aloud about the fourteen varieties of pizza,including Margarita and Hawaiian. (ugh!)


I chew on my lower lip as I read the entire page dedicated to pasta; Linguini  spaghetti, and penne. Most of the pasta dishes come with tomato sauce and what doesn't, comes with-and I quote-"a creamy Alfredo sauce."  Boom! The classics:, Ziti, Manicotti,and Ravioli are not only made with tomato sauce, but also come with either Ricotta, Romano, Mozzarella or Parmesan. And let's not forget Lasagna, which comes with at least three out of the four cheeses. Boom! Boom! Boom!


I break out into a cold sweat by the time I peruse the meat and seafood dinners; all of which are served with a side of pasta. Even those dinners are made with tomato or cream sauce and what isn't, contains cheeseMany dishes include both. Boom! 


Salads typically come with Croutons, cheese, tomatoes and carrots. Even dressings can be hazardous. Thousand Island is made of mayonnaise (which contains eggs and lemon juice) and ketchup (made from tomatoes). Ranch is made from mayonnaise and sour cream. Creamy Italian contains mayonnaise and even the most innocuous dressings can contain soy. Boom! 


Okay, so however dangerous, I have survived the meal without incident! While my family enjoys two baskets of warm bread, and dines on stuffed shells, pizza, calzones,and pinwheels, I eat a salad of lettuce, onion and grilled chicken. Balsamic vinaigrette on the side. I know. Pitiful. I do find solace in a glass of Chardonnay. And trust me, without that, someone might have gotten hurt.


But wait! I'm not out of the woods yet. As Frank Sinatra croons "The Way You Look Tonight", here comes the dessert cart. Boom!

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